he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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