I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We have started to decorate penises.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
