I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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