Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
