ya dads aren't the best wingmen
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
