Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
