If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
