If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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