susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
