2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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