butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
