He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
