Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
