i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
