me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
