i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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