dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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