I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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