I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
