This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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