Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
