I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
