I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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