I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
