You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im six kinds of drunk right now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
