You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
