Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
