I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
