I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
