You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
