so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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