Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
