The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
