Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
