No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
