i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
