You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
