Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
