Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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