Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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