How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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