I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
