Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
