I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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