Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want to make a zoo with you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my liver is dry heaving
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
