do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
