Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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