SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
