your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
