Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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