Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
